Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Post of the day - Hens night

Good morning Lovelies,

While I was rummaging through all your blogs, I stopped by Sarah's Oh The Things I Think and saw her Etsy Love post about Hens Nights. Sarah is in the process of creating a hens night for her friend Steph, and if the post is anything to go by, she is doing an amazing job. Much better than my hens night.

If you read my last blog, you may have caught the emotional post about my hens night and how much of a disaster it was. But I will tell you again.

To start with, I am quite a controlling person and a bit of a perfectionist. I live by the motto "If you want it done right, you do it yourself."
So when a friend, and an old friend, decided to plan my hens night and not tell me anything about it, I freaked out. It started out with a Facebook-group-invite-page-thing where I had to add people then leave the group. She assumed all people who said yes to the Facebook invite would show up. Mistake number one.
I had to get my mum involved and pass on all the messages to her from me, mainly to take down the damn Facebook invite group cause I knew those people would not show up plus I wanted to send out invites. Months down the track, I got to give invites to people and I find out she has hired a hall for games and is having a BBQ for food. Not quite my idea of a hens night so I said no. I just wanted to go to town for a nice fancy dinner and have a good girly chat about stuff. 

She went a bit Henszilla on me while I was going through my Bridezilla phase so things were not going well. I think in all the planning process I spoke to her once. That one time she pretty much told me that if I didn't like her idea, I could just plan it myself. Ironically enough, what I wanted all along.

I later find out we are going to a bar next to my workplace. Super I thought, that place has a function room and I stupidly assumed she had hired it for the night. So on the night, we show up at this dive of a bar which had not been cleaned from the night before to find the doors are locked. It is pouring with rain and I asked my friend what is going on. Her response is "It said on the website that they open at 7pm." So after months of planning, she never thought to just double check what time the damn place opened (honestly, if you want it done right, you do it yourself). As it turns out, she did not hire the function room.

On a side note, I don't drink. I have never had a one night stand, I have never picked up a guy from town, in fact, I have actually never been to town at night. So the fact that my hens night was fast becoming a way for my "friend" to pick up guys was an absolute nightmare. We moved on to another bar, we got bar snacks that consisted of hot chips and little spring onion things, and sat at one of those tall table things they have at bars. I was made to put on a silly outfit.
Games started which mainly consisted of asking me questions about my sex life with my mum, aunty and my dads new partner sitting right next to me. Very awkward. Some creep wouldn't leave me alone and wanted to dance with me and gave me his business card. My friend thought this was awesome and exactly what she wanted to happen to me two weeks before I marry Dean.

Her idea was to get me drunk and for me to pick up as many guys as possible. Games included making our way around the bar and getting our photo taken with different men. At this point the Stag Night guys, including Dean, had joined us and quite frankly, I did not want to be seen all over other men with my fiancee watching on. My friend turned to me and said "This is your last night of freedom", clearly she had a very different idea of what it means to be in a relationship or be engaged. As far as I am aware, your hens night is not a "Free Pass", but she seemed to think it was.

So I disappeared through to the pokie machines and won $80. In that time, my friend and my other good friend had packed up and left without saying goodbye. I walked back out into the bar to talk to them to find them gone. No one knew where they went, another friend said they just packed up and walked out. I guess since I didn't want to act like a drunk slut I was not 'having fun'.

There is probably a few morals to this story. Don't plan a hens night unless you actually know your friend well. As you can tell, my "friend" did not know me very well at all. I have been a non- drinker all my life and in a relationship with Dean since I was 19, so where she got the idea from that I was keen to get drunk and take guys home is beyond me. 
And number two: If you want it done right, do it yourself.

Where is this friend now you ask? Well, she came to my wedding two weeks later and left early on in the night. Six months later I get a Facebook message from her wanting some of the wedding photos that had herself in them. I didn't reply, and now she is in Australia.

I really hope your hens night was way better than mine. Having said that, it makes a damn good story!!

Hayleigh xx


  1. Oh my goodness, what an awful hens night! I am so sorry that was your experience, it sounds terrible. I can't even get over the awkwardness!
    Sarah xx

    1. Thanks Sarah, these days I can laugh about it but at the time I was quite upset. And it was awkward, thank god for the pokie room that night!